Me and Chairman Mao

Obama + Mao = Obamao!

I thought this was pretty funny, since our new President-Elect is clearlya socialist, a Marxist, a terrorist, or some combination of the three. I mean, Sarah Palin wouldn't lie, would she? Actually, I don't think she would, because in order to lie about something like that she'd actually have to understand what she was talking about. DING!

 

(I have no idea where this originally came from, other than that it's from someone called "PhilDragoo.")

But this did get me thinking: Could Obamao maybe get rid of Palin, maybe go Taiwan-style and just kind of cut off Alaska from the rest of the country? (I know that's the reverse of how it happened in China, but I'm trying to make a point. Or at least a post, which is close enough.) Anyway, I know it sounds good at first, but as far as I can tell there are exactly three problems with this. Yes, only three. They are:

1. We need the oil/gas we get from Alaska, and kicking Alaska out of the Union would only increase our reliance on foreign oil, which we all know is a bad thing. Because, you know, increasing our reliance on domestic oil is totally cool and okay.
2. With no Alaska, where would all the people that are too crazy for Montana move to?
3. It might--and this is the most important one--mess with the filming of the next season of Deadliest Catch--since I just assume that filming in a foreign country/foreign waters is more difficult and/or complicated than filming in the good old US of A's waters. Probably. I'm not really sure this applies, but it's not a chance I'm willing to take.

That being the case, I guess we'll have to live with things as they are for the time being, but check back with me in 2012 ...

Chasing the Dragon: Mysterious Beijing.

I just watched this (kind of old) segment from the Daily Show on the Beijing Olympics. Or rather, about one of the Daily Showcorrespondents attempting to "unlock the secrets" of Beijing. It sort of reminded me of my life there. If my life had consisted of being filmed round-the-clock for a popular, award-winning news show instead of just wondering around by myself wondering "What the hell just happened?" most of the time ...

Anyway, it's funny:

 

My favorite line: "It's a good wall, as far as wall's go. I don't know if I'd call it great."

Like Falling into the Tiger's Mouth ...

Believe it or not--and I don't know why you wouldn't, since I don't have any reason to lie to you (yet)--but, despite the title of this post, it does not actually have anything to do with my HILARIOUS essay Fowl Play, about feeding chickens to tigers, which you can find here among other places. Just, you know, as an FYI ...

No, it is about another piece of literature all together, one which is even funnier, if that is at all possible. (I may be biased, but I'm not sure that it is. Seriously.) It's about the Olympic Health Handbook, distributed as part of the Olympics, which apparently just happened. In China. Who knew? Anyway, some friends brought one back from said event (was it on TV at all? I didn't notice), and--while I haven't had a chance to look at it yet--they did pass on this little nugget of wisdom about electric safety. To wit:

With the popularity of electrical appliances, electricity safely has become an important issue. Accidental electric shock is like falling into the tiger’s mouth. You need skill to escape.

How true that is. I mean, when I think of electric shock, I definitely think of falling into a tiger's mouth. Let's see: frizzy hair and mild tingling, shredded flesh and massive blood loss. Yeah, that's pretty much the same thing ...

Beginnings.

If a page is created on the Internet and nobody knows it, is it still there?

If a page is created on the Internet and nobody knows it, does it matter?

If a page is created on the Internet and Google hasn't noticed it, can anyone find it?

If a page is created on the Internet and Google hasn't noticed it so nobody can find it, is it still there?

(Note: Find out how long it takes Google to notice pages.)

If a page is created on the Internet and Google has noticed it but no one else has, is it still there?

If a page is created on the Internet and Google knows it's there ....

Never mind.

First post!